There’s nothing more tiresome than having all of your Facebook friends literally ‘liking’ and commenting fabulous praise on your photos, posts and Statuses.
(cringe: Status looks so hideous in the plural form; if it weren’t for my “friends” liking so many of mine I wouldn’t be faced with having to deal with such an awkward-looking word.)
Yep: it’s all such a goddamn nightmare.
Take last night for example: I posted this hilarious, wit-filled Status in which EVERYONE felt the need to like and comment on (no surprises there). But the issue with this is, now you’re faced with a ghastly predicament: do you ‘like’ all of the wow you’re amazing! comments, or do you be selective in which compliments you acknowledge that you ‘like’ (i.e: do you click the little ‘thumbs up’ icon or not)?
I mean, let’s be honest: liking ALL of the positive comments is bound to come off as omg-I-can’t-believe-how-loved-I-am suprised-meets-desperate (no one wants this); yet you also don’t want to offend anyone by liking someone else’s comment (namely: the one from someone you actually like) and not others.
Yep, it’s a dilemma I’m with ALL the time. Do I be desperate, decisive or do I just throw my hands up in the air (and away from the Mac) and choose to disregard—and therefore ‘dislike’ by not ‘liking’—all said I love you so much comments? Would I then come across as unappreciative and rude?
Because, although I’m a conceited judgmental bitch, I don’t actually want people to know that I am, if that makes sense. In other words: I still want my Facebook friends to adore me and continue liking all the shit I post—and if I offend them, I might ruin my everybody loves me; just look at how many likes and comments I get reputation.
So I’ve come up with a flaky, albeit-it will do, compromise: from now on, I’m only going to ‘like’ the comments that make me LOL (or the ones from attractive, fabulous friends), and for the I don’t know why you’re blowing admiration up my arse; we don’t even converse in real life comments, I’ve decided to simply soothe their egos by posting a generic I love you all, you’re all so fabulous! comment (they wouldn’t get an individual ‘like’, clearly). That way everyone wins, right? I don’t have to sacrifice my reputation, let everyone know that deep down I’m a flaming ball of arrogance, have my likes and comments diminish or risk looking like a desperate damsel. Oh and people wouldn’t get their feelings hurt (minor detail though, darling).
Perfect. It will do for now, or until I come up with another god-I’m-a-genius game plan. God, the thought-process must one go through when popular and dearly loved! It’s such a nightmare!
Feel free to use this advice if you find yourself in a similar predicament (although I doubt you will: you couldn’t possibly be as captivating and cold-hearted as Yours Truly).